The reason you haven't heard from me lately is because my computer ate my blog. My computer is very sensitive, and I think it was upset with the failed economy, and also the threat that Sarah Palin might be only a heartbeat (the heartbeat belongs to John McCain) away from being our next President, without her having 1: taken any classes in presidency, and 2: having been mean to the Russians.
New York is kind of irritable these days. For one thing, the annual United Nations assembly assembled, and for the past week and a half there was so much traffic nobody could get across town, and besides that, the United Nations welcomed a foreign leader whose name nobody could pronounce, and that guy got up and explained that he wanted to kill everybody in Israel, and then we lost all our money.
"Broad Public Anger is Cited," said the New York Times, and indeed, we the public were angry, and wondering if we would have to go on the dole or if, in fact, there wasn't enough money to have a dole.
The New York Times also told us that leadership had broken down, and as if that weren't bad enough, the Mets collapsed after producing "only five runs in a key three-game series."
I'm going to stop now, because this is all too sad.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Opus Three
This is my third attempt to produce a few lines for my new blog. (That is to say, my only blog.) My sister told me that blog #2 had made her laugh out loud-- twice-- but my sister is fiercely loyal, and I'm thinking there might be very little sense in writing a blog if no one wants to read it but your sister. I mean I can reach my sister on the phone.
Still, I have heard that there are about four hundred thousand million billion people blogging every day, and they probably haven't got around to me yet, what with their own problems and the pressure of all those other people wanting to hear from them. However, I am going to remain hopeful. For instance, I would very much like to hear drom my nieces, who live in California. But they are only four and six years old, with better things to do than try to make me feel good. And, alas,they are not yet adept at the computer, so far as I know.
But they can both swim, which I can't. They are also entertaining. When I last visited them, I asked Hayley (the older one) why she didn't like school, and she said it was because of a kid named Algernon or Charlie, or something like that. Why? "He knock me," she said fiercely, and that was that.
Her younger sister, Alexa, is equally direct. She ran up a flight of stairs, woke me , and announced, "I have a idea." Whenever depression threatens, I tell myself , "I have a idea," and I'm good for the rest of the week.
Still, I have heard that there are about four hundred thousand million billion people blogging every day, and they probably haven't got around to me yet, what with their own problems and the pressure of all those other people wanting to hear from them. However, I am going to remain hopeful. For instance, I would very much like to hear drom my nieces, who live in California. But they are only four and six years old, with better things to do than try to make me feel good. And, alas,they are not yet adept at the computer, so far as I know.
But they can both swim, which I can't. They are also entertaining. When I last visited them, I asked Hayley (the older one) why she didn't like school, and she said it was because of a kid named Algernon or Charlie, or something like that. Why? "He knock me," she said fiercely, and that was that.
Her younger sister, Alexa, is equally direct. She ran up a flight of stairs, woke me , and announced, "I have a idea." Whenever depression threatens, I tell myself , "I have a idea," and I'm good for the rest of the week.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Whoops!
About last week:
Timidly but proudly, I sent my first effort at blogging into the world. Ten minutes later, I realized I had it all wrong. I had said Reese Schonfeld had founded CNN. Reese Schonfeld did not found CNN, he found Ted Turner, and together they founded CNN. The Reese part was unfounded some time later. You might say the men parted as friends, but then again, you might be hallucinating.
There was a gathering one night -- in New York, I think--whern Ted Turner, on the podium, was talking about people who had helped shape his network, and someone in the audience called out, "What about Reese Schonfeld?"
"Ah, yes, Reese," Mr. Turner is reported to have said. And then, with a beatific smile, added, "I shouldn't have fired him, I should have killed him."
Thayt's the way it goes sometime.
Timidly but proudly, I sent my first effort at blogging into the world. Ten minutes later, I realized I had it all wrong. I had said Reese Schonfeld had founded CNN. Reese Schonfeld did not found CNN, he found Ted Turner, and together they founded CNN. The Reese part was unfounded some time later. You might say the men parted as friends, but then again, you might be hallucinating.
There was a gathering one night -- in New York, I think--whern Ted Turner, on the podium, was talking about people who had helped shape his network, and someone in the audience called out, "What about Reese Schonfeld?"
"Ah, yes, Reese," Mr. Turner is reported to have said. And then, with a beatific smile, added, "I shouldn't have fired him, I should have killed him."
Thayt's the way it goes sometime.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Okay. a short story
The reason this blog is called Chase in New York is be cause my name is Chase, and I had a boss named Reese Schonfeld. He was-- and probably still is-- a very smart man. I had been on the CBS Morning Show when he discovered me. He decided I needed to come work at CNN, which he had recently founded. He is a man of many talents, and he's founded a lot of things including the Food Channel. I assured him nobody would watch such a channel except maybe his mother, but fortunately for him, he didn't listen.
Anyhow, he put me on a show called Chase'n New York, because he liked the pun. It was a great job for a long time. I went out with a crew every day and recorded strange and wonderful things. There was a lady down in the lower East side where needles and other drug paraphernalia was strewn everywhere, and she cleaned up a whole empty lot, and grew flowers and trees and performed wedding services for those who wanted them. I met a little man who was holed up in a huge empty building on Fourteenth Street, because the owners of the building couldn't get him out, so they could tear the place down. He-- the little man was a barber-- had to come down several fights to open the locked door whenever he had a customer. I also went to the upper east side, where there was a beautiful old town house, which had once boasted a horse ring out in the back.
It was now used as a place that taught tea ceremonies, and I got to squirm around on the floor in a rather unsightly fashion, but learned quite a bit about the ways of tea. I'll tell you other things I've learned when I know you better.
Anyhow, he put me on a show called Chase'n New York, because he liked the pun. It was a great job for a long time. I went out with a crew every day and recorded strange and wonderful things. There was a lady down in the lower East side where needles and other drug paraphernalia was strewn everywhere, and she cleaned up a whole empty lot, and grew flowers and trees and performed wedding services for those who wanted them. I met a little man who was holed up in a huge empty building on Fourteenth Street, because the owners of the building couldn't get him out, so they could tear the place down. He-- the little man was a barber-- had to come down several fights to open the locked door whenever he had a customer. I also went to the upper east side, where there was a beautiful old town house, which had once boasted a horse ring out in the back.
It was now used as a place that taught tea ceremonies, and I got to squirm around on the floor in a rather unsightly fashion, but learned quite a bit about the ways of tea. I'll tell you other things I've learned when I know you better.
Friday, September 5, 2008
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