ODDS and Odders: Things I Love

1. I love Sarah Palin. I haven't heard anything like her since Daisy May ran around Dogpatch in her underwear. Sarah knows how to win a war-- she hasn't yet shared her knowledge, but she has told us, "Dog-gonnit, change is comin'", and that's good enough for me. Who can resist, "You wok the wok, you don't just "tok the tok," because if you don't wok the wok, it "hurts our koz." To be sure, this may need some interpretation, but "darn" and "heck" are easily decoded, and somebody who is willing to go after both Wall Street and Afghanistan is okay in my book. I wish she wouldn't say "nucular" instead of nuclear, but George W. Bush has been doing that for eight years, and my gosh, he's the President.
2. I love the post office. At least the F.D.R. Roosevelt Station in New York city. If you go there to send a letter-- let's say to Prague-- you get a receipt for your 94 cents, and at the bottom of the receipt it says, "Tell Us About Your Recent Postal Experience." What the hell is a postal experience? Standing on line grumbling? Because it's taking so long? Discoverinng there's only one clerk at a window, and all the other windows are closed? It's mysterious, isn't it?
3. Here's another mystery. In a booklet sent out by AARP, there's a picture of a 65-year-old retired woman named Marilyn. While walking home one day, "Marilyn tripped on the curb and twisted her ankle. " What made her accident "a little easier to handle" was that AARP's Medical Supplement Plan "covered most of her medical costs." Nice, right? But, staring up at us from the botton if this page is a confession. AARP says Marilyn "is a fictitious person used for illustrative purposes."
4. I love Yale Galanter. He's the lawyer who tried to get O.J.Simpson out of a recent mess in Las Vegas, "Being stupid and being frustrated is not being a criminal," said Mr. Galanter. If I ever need a lawyer, he's the one I'm going after.
5. I love my grandmother. She's not around any more, but she made me laugh. She was a passionate watcher of soap operas, and she talked back to the actors. Some guy would be vowing that he was going to marry Our Gal Sunday, and Grandma would stand up and cry out, "That's what you think, you damn fool." She was right, of course.